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I guess my point is that you shouldn't doubt how you feel or feel like you're not "depressed" enough or whatever to either say it's a problem or just say it affects you. I suspect that's because whatever good qualities you have as a friend aren't actually coming across on your dates in the way you assume they are. In a small hunter-gatherer tribe, there probably was only One Right Way to do things, and it may have been rational to follow those one ways for group cohesion and functioning.